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Author   Topic : "The Joke Thread"
FireFry
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2001 5:37 pm     Reply with quote
PopRockz. I'll remove it out of respect then. It wasn't meant to be taken seriously. thats why it's called a joke

[ October 30, 2001: Message edited by: FireFry ]
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Poprocksz
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2001 6:36 pm     Reply with quote
I aplogize for my remark as well.
I didn't take it over seriously.
I just didn't think it was funny.
And I said why.

everyone has a different sense of humor.

[ October 30, 2001: Message edited by: Poprocksz ]
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J Bradford
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2001 7:06 pm     Reply with quote
And your one of the most retarded people I have seen on this forum, Poprocksz
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Poprocksz
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2001 7:41 pm     Reply with quote
Why Thank you.

[ October 30, 2001: Message edited by: Poprocksz ]
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J Bradford
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2001 7:52 pm     Reply with quote
Being honest? Well c'mon, so was I.
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J Bradford
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2001 7:57 pm     Reply with quote
And if you take something that's stereotypically racist when it's intented to be for humor, then you lack something.
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A.Buttle
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2001 8:01 pm     Reply with quote
Hahaha, I hate the British and Homosexuals also!!
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Poprocksz
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2001 8:18 pm     Reply with quote
edit

[ October 30, 2001: Message edited by: Poprocksz ]
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Poprocksz
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 1:00 am     Reply with quote
And Bradford.
It is a bothersome shock that you
are this way about the subject.

You are one of the people I really liked.
One of the only few I rated out of 5287.

I'm sorry if I am annoying to you.
But I won't compromise my veiws.
And I wish the same for you.
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social drone
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 7:43 am     Reply with quote
what was the joke? god damn, i want to see.

a quick search on the internet and i came up with this crap.

Q: What's orange and looks good on hippies?
A:fire.

Q: What's the difference between a schoolyard racist and Adolf Hitler?
A: Opportunity.

Q: How do you get a goth out a tree?
A: cut the rope

Q: What do you call a mexican baptism?
A: Bean dip

Q: What do you call a white guy with no legs?
A: A U.S. veteran

Q: How do they separate the men from the boys in Greece?
A: With a crowbar

Q: Have you heard about the racist who choked on his youghurt?
A: Someone told him it grew out of a foreign culture

Q: What does a redneck find hard about eating a bald pussy?
A: Taking off the diaper first

Q: How do you keep niggers out of your backyard?
A: Hang one in the front.
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roundeye
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 8:32 am     Reply with quote
quote:

Q: What's the difference between a schoolyard racist and Adolf Hitler?
A: Opportunity.

[snip]

Q: How do you keep niggers out of your backyard?
A: Hang one in the front.


thats pretty funny... HITLER!
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Poprocksz
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 1:47 pm     Reply with quote
You know......I wasn't gonna be involved with
these jokes.

And there are a few good ones I must say.

But, Social Drone.
your last joke is SICK
and wrong.

This is the problem I had with the first jokes.
but this is far worse.

If you see these things as "Jokes".
Then you a very disturbed.
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balistic
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 2:10 pm     Reply with quote
What's brown and sticky?


A stick.


What's green and has wheels?


Grass (I was just kidding about the wheels).
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Lukiaz
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 4:17 pm     Reply with quote
Poprocksz - You *choose* to get angry or you *choose* not to.

I am against racism, sexism etc etc.
I even see myself as having hippy views...this may make me a hippy. Perhaps I am black and Jewish?.

I'm not offended....regardless of whether they're funny(and sometimes they are). THEY ARE ONLY WORDS. They become more than words when *YOU*(the reader) make it so.
So simple yet so few ever make it so.

*Namaste*
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burn0ut
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 5:46 pm     Reply with quote
keep tha jokes comin
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FireFry
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 6:14 pm     Reply with quote
Lukiaz - THANK YOU! For a while though I thought I was the only one who shared this viewpoint. It was intended for shits n' giggles and yeah it is stereotyped, but I didn't see it promoting anyone either. and repost it and say to hell with flames.

quote:

There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on this absolutely stunning deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following has occurred:

* One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
* The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.
* The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
* The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
* The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to
the English woman.
* The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.
* The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide,while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer, and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.
* The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but at least the English are not getting any.


[ October 31, 2001: Message edited by: FireFry ]
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J Bradford
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 6:48 pm     Reply with quote
Fucking humor, Poprocksz. Everything isn't some drama, especially when it's intended as a JOKE ONLY. And as Lukiaz said, THEY ARE ONLY WORDS.

Funny stuff Social Drone!
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burn0ut
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 6:51 pm     Reply with quote
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0274518
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edible snowman
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 7:15 pm     Reply with quote
this could be kinda dumb but i heard it today

"I'm walking my chicken down the road, next to you while you're walking your donkey. Your donkey gets hungry and bites off my chicken's foot. What do you have?"

"A foot of my cock in your ass."
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Steven Stahlberg
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 7:46 pm     Reply with quote
Yeah, that's funny, FireFry. Americans have lots of Swede jokes, and Swedes have lots of Norwegian jokes, and the Norwegians take the same jokes and make them Swede-jokes, and Kentuckyans and Hooshiers have jokes about each other, etc, etc... it never ends, and some of them are funny and some not. Anyway, these are not racist jokes.

hehe, even funnier, snowman!
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Tendril
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2001 9:15 pm     Reply with quote
Its ok to make fun of someone for coming from a certain country, its not ok to make fun of someone because of their race...

I think someone in southpark said that, maybe as a joke, but its true...

Anyway, my joke- shortened cos i cant remember the whole thing... :-

Theres a docter, and hes writing out a perscription for a patient. So he reaches into his pocket, rumages around, and pulls out a rectal thermometer. He looks surprised-"dammit! some assholes got my pen..."

[ October 31, 2001: Message edited by: Tendril ]
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Poprocksz
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2001 2:31 pm     Reply with quote
Look...
I have a sense of humour.
I know millions of these jokes.

Why don't you go up to a black person
and tell him they are just WORDS.

Till then don't tell me that's what they are.
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Lukiaz
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2001 5:24 pm     Reply with quote
How do you know I'm not black?.

Well I'm not.
Actually I'm part Sioux (red)Indian and part Maori(native NZ'er...they're *brown*).
...and white.

I've been called white racist names here in NZ. It didn't effect me, I didn't let it. Stupid?. No.
Easier said than done admittadly. Though I stand as before. They are only MORE than words because YOU MAKE IT SO.
These arguments would never take place if colour wasn't important. It isn't. Only because YOU MAKE IT SO.

Fuck colour. Skin us all from head to toe and hang us up. Who's different now?
(well maybe penis size might be a give away).

No big deal, let it go.

White trash
Nigger
Yellow peril
Spic
Wog
Slant eye

Words my friend. Words.

If you don't place emphasise on it then it doesn't become an issue. If less people cared about these *words* then less would use them to offend(because they wouldn't work) and then no-one would use them!!.

Taking your attitude only inhibits this from happening.

Peace
Namaste
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edible snowman
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2001 7:35 pm     Reply with quote
almost all comedians make racist jokes, especially black guys. they're racist against white guys; they're even racist against themselves. racism isn't right, but there aren't many things that can't be laughed about.
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FireFry
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2001 8:04 pm     Reply with quote
quote:
Originally posted by edible snowman:
almost all comedians make racist jokes, especially black guys. they're racist against white guys; they're even racist against themselves. racism isn't right, but there aren't many things that can't be laughed about.


Gee, Chris Rock comes to mind. He cracks at least one racist white joke whenever he gets the chance. :/

Too bad Gallager (sp) ain't in showbusiness anymore, or is he?
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the_monkey
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2001 8:07 pm     Reply with quote
so there were these two apples in an oven. one apple blurts out. "golly its hot in here". the other replies "hey look! its a talking apple"
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Poprocksz
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2001 9:38 pm     Reply with quote
You can make the same joke without
having to use the word "Nigger".

Yes, black people tell the same jokes.
Where did I say they didn't?

My point is the single word.
Not the fucking joke, skin colour, etc.
The word.

like I said....
Go up to a black man and call him that.
Tell me what happens.

[ November 02, 2001: Message edited by: Poprocksz ]
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Jezebel
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2001 11:33 pm     Reply with quote
This thread is obviously turning towards another topic entirely, and I'm wondering why the only jokes people are posting have to do with making fun of a certain race, country, trend group or whatever anyway? There are a LOT of jokes out there, why are you just telling these? If it offends anyone maybe it's not appropriate?

And I'm sorry... but I just don't think talking about hanging "n's" in the front yard is anything but racist, because I can assure you, like Pop says... you tell that joke to a black guy downtown and he won't be laughing. :P

Ok... here's a couple:

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprize me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."

The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."


------

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"

"Uhh, oh yeah, okay," responded the kid.

So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and went to the post office to mail the money and the book.

When she gets back, her husband asked, "Well how much did you give the boy his time?"

She said, "Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20 and the other for $1000 out to him."

"That's $1020!" yelled her husband. Are you crazy?"

"Don't worry, Hon," she said. "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!"


-----

A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink.

"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.

"I am a Torah scholar," he replies.

"A Torah scholar. Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?"

"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancée.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks, "How did it go, Honey?"

The father answers, "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God."


Ok... they aren't THAT funny, but I like cheesy jokes ok?
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sacrelicious
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2001 11:37 pm     Reply with quote
Q: What's the difference between a truckload of bricks and a truckload of dead babies?
A: You can't unload the bricks with a pitchfork.
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Blitz
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2001 12:04 am     Reply with quote
Some of these are funny.

Some are not what should be posted in a PUBLIC forum with over 5000 members of different nationalities, religions, life styles.

This is not the place. It doesn’t matter what your view behind the joke is. It doesn’t matter if your the most NON-racist person in the world.

This is not the place for jokes like Social Drone's last one.
I don’t care what kind of light heartedness was behind it.
NOT THE PLACE FOR IT....
Do it amongst your friends if you really need to get one of them jokes off. That’s fine...But here is just not the place.

As for Poprocksz. I know he has a sense of humor. He has been one of my best friend for near 9 years or so. So don’t flip him shit because he has a different view of things. You don’t know him.

Enough said.
Good day all.

Blitz
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