[Christian +]

My father is getting old and don�t really know how to deal with him anymore.
I�m 23 years old, my father is 70, you can see the big difference in age and mentality.
I still live at my parent�s house, so I have to deal with him daily. He wasn�t like that but he�s getting worse by the day. He doesn�t care about anything anymore, he�s becoming very irresponsible like a child, if you know what I mean. I fell like I�m the father here and I don�t wanna be. I have things do besides work, I have slopes to ski, girls to flirt with�.. you know.
It�s not time for me to take care of my father, and he is in this critical age where he�s too old and you cannot stand him anymore but not old enough to put in a nursing house.
So what I�m asking is, have any of you ever had this experience before, even if it was good or bad for you, I would like to learn from it.

He reminds me of myself like 9 years ago, he asks to take my car cause his is too large for him he says �. Few minutes later he calls to tell me that he crashed it and he needs me to come help him !!! it�s been three times already. I know you�re probably thinking what a dumb ass I am. But believe me, it�s not easy to refuse anything to your father when he always gave you everything without asking. I did the same things with his car 9 years ago�.. and he never said anything about it, he was always very sweet with me. But he�s the one who got me into this world,�.. if it was for me, and I knew what was expected from, I would�ve never brought let him see the daylight.
Any tips would be most appreciated.
Thanks

[-- Transcendent --]

Be thankful he's getting old, because if wasn't, he'd be dead.

(no offense, I know fathers and death are touchy subjects)

[Chris]

Your going to have to deal with it. He won't be around forever, and trust me, you will miss all of that hardache when he is gone, don't matter how much you hate it now

He took care of you during all your years, it might be soon, but you owe him the same.

[ken]

well. mortality eats you up when confronted face to face, eh? i have a grandfather who i hardly ever see since he lives in another country. i kind of had the same problem, to a lesser extent, when he came to visit for a month or so.

i guess this is life. i imagine you are experiencing everything your father experienced when you were a child. chris put it perfectly, try and look past the burden and cherish his company.

i think that line of thought that instructs you to try to live your life without regrets applies here.

-Ken

[Awetopsy]

Man, yeah he needs you.. but you need you too. Instead of doing everything and feeling frustrated, start planning times with and without him. Tell him "Dad Im going out on Friday night" and tell him you'll spend some time with him on Thursday and or Saturday.. Tell him he can take the car on saturday afternoon but work out times where you can go and do other stuff. Also try helping him find another smaller car for himself. Talk to him about putting a For sale sign in the window of his and looking at smaller, more functional vehicles for him.

I know what its like to hae to be there for family but you need your quiet time too. You need your 23 year old social life.. Im 23 too and I know the feeling all too well.

[Christian +]

Hey thanks folks for your support.
Trans, �.you�re right I guess, I haven�t thought of it this way.
Chris, Ken, what you say is true, but still it�s really painful to deal with all this.
Awetopsy, I think I should do what you said, I should talk to him about stuff that will make him think to something else and not get bored. I must organize future events in his mind, so he�ll know what to expect everyday and have something to focus on.
I should probably teach him painting or something (not digital though,�.he�s too old to even know how to turn the computer on�.hehe), he loves paintings and sculptures, I can teach him that too.
Deal.
Simple, he took care of me, I�ll take care of him. Fair enough. But I�m not having kids anymore,�.I�ll be done with the babysitting
Well I think it�s all settled then.
Thanks for the advice.