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Author   Topic : "Here's a joke."

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 1999 1:38 am     Reply with quote
How come nobody ever posts jokes on this board? Anyway, here's one:

-These two dudes get stranded on a cannibal island. (I dunno why). The leader of the cannibals captures them and of gives them 2 choices:
1- Death;
2- Unga-Bunga;
So the first guy decides to go with Unga-Bunga, cuz whatever that is, it couldn't be worse than death, right?
Then, this big, huge, Father-of-all-Sumos, ferocious dude comes out of a tent, slowly walks over to the him, grabbes him by an arm, and drags him back inside the tent. The tent starts shaking and moving around, back and forth, and the guy is screaming his lungs out in pain. This went on for 6 hours. When they were done, the poor guy barely crawls out of the tent, exhausted and mutilated, and whispers to his friend: "Whatever you choose, just don't choose Unga-Bunga... Don't..."
It's the second guy's turn to make the choice, and of course, he proudly chooses DEATH.
To which the whole tribe starts slowly chanting: "Unga-Bunga-to-Death... unga-Bunga-to-Death..."
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Joined: 12 Jan 2000
Posts: 322
Location: Houston, Tx, USA

PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 1999 6:14 am     Reply with quote
it's not unga bunga to death it's Death by Unga-Bunga
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Joined: 22 Oct 1999
Posts: 321
Location: USA

PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 1999 3:56 pm     Reply with quote
BEWARE!! This jokes have some adult content. Viewer discretion is advised.

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about
sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

Wait theres more!

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He hadcan urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous
urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."


A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy faints!! The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's wrong?". The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350
pounds, 20
inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is
Turner Brown." The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said
'Turn around.

Last one.

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan. From this, the doctor suggests that the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the
doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks what happened to which the man replies: "She choked."

Thank you all... and I hope viewer discretion was used. =0

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